Saturday, May 16, 2009

Spring Cleaning

I'm trying to find the motivation to get started cleaning the basement today. Maybe a cup of coffee will do the trick. Nope didn't do the trick, however I now have a nice hot mug of liquid caffeine to drink as I blog. The problem is I rented a 15 cubic yard dumpster to cleanse "Casa De Melnyk" this weekend. Its sitting there in the driveway all big, orange, and screaming at me to fill it. Well its not really screaming at me but MMM is starting to give me the get busy signals.

The plan this weekend has been to purge our property of all the mess and clutter we have accumulated over our life together. The list is simple get the driveway, garage, yard, and basement purged before the dumpster leaves Tuesday morning. I started our home reno in October 2007, I meant to get the rubble hauled away at various times in the last year and a half but kept putting it off. I figured I'd get all of the junk removed all at once instead of every step of the reno. I began to pile stuff in the driveway, garage, and basement much to my dear wife's dismay. Anyway I digress, wasps moved into the pile at some point in the last year and found the carpet underlay, and drywall were perfect for a little wasp condo project. All last summer we kept being harassed by wasps when we sat outside on the deck. Finally in late September I saw the little black and yellow monsters going in and out of my pile. Well that put any junk removal plans on hold until until it got cold out. Well it gets really cold, really fast in Alberta so I kept putting it off until the snow fell and by then it was way to cold, so the plan changed to early spring. So Friday night we got started.

THE NEST WAS HUGE!!!!!!!, it was between 21 and 24 inches in diameter. I've never seen a wasp nest that big. It is early enough in the year here that they are fairly inactive and not a threat. However the redneck in me didn't think it would be that bad and starts ripping the pile apart throwing rubble in to my bin. My boys helped thing it was fun until we all saw the nest. A sudden soberness comes over you seeing a wasp nest that big. Kids are sent into the house and given strict orders to stay inside. You move items a little more gingerly, making sure the little flying monsters do not wake from there winter sleep. My genius teenage sons wanted to burn the nest. I had to remind them that a pile of drywall, wood and yard waste plus fire equals the fire department coming out and maybe the garage burning down. So we did the next best thing. WE SMASHED IT!! we very carefully moved the nest into the bin and then crushed it with what ever heavy things we could find. The nest was destroyed, but I'm certain the yellow jackets are still in there somewhere.

Saturday we tackled the garage. It went quickly and soon I was able to not only part vehicles in it but we could actually see the floor. Its very therapeutic to declutter your garage. The weather was nice, the yellow jackets never crawled out to attack. I found all sorts of items I thought I had lost. No injuries, no fights between siblings. The bin went from 1/3 full to 2/3 full, mission complete. On top of that I got the blade on the lawnmower changed, tuned the mower up and got the yard done. It turned into a very productive day.

BUT NOW I'VE HIT THE WALL!!!! The problem is the basement has gone from the location that a few items were stored to the Kratt Brothers Closet. If you are unfamiliar with the closet check out Zaboomafoo on PBS. They open a seeming harmless closet door and enough stuff to fill three rooms spills out. That is my basement! I actually almost lost my 5 year old son in a pile down there last Wednesday. His muffled cries for help were all I could hear and then I saw his left foot wiggle. We have to start attaching bells and ropes to people before they venture down there. I started this post early this morning, its now 2 in the afternoon. I've checked emails, facebook, sports sites, downloaded songs and movies. Anything to delay my start.

But like Dr Suess wrote "Marvin K Mooney the time has come the time is now. Marvin K Mooney will you please go Now!!!". Gee, I hope those yellow jackets aren't mad.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Time to try this again

I suck at this blogging thing. I had envisioned being able to blog everyday. I know its possible as hundreds of bloggers do it everyday. But there is way more involved in blogging than I thought. Life doesn't stop so I can write. It doesn't stop so I can sleep or get better from my cold.
I have been stuck in camp for 7 weeks and have wrote nothing. Its just that my life isn't that interesting when I work. I work 10 to 14 hours in the refinery and sit in my 8 by 10 room at night. I try to find time get the 3 s's in everyday, eat, sleep , and talk to the wife. I tell my stories to my wife, she tells me hers and the kids and its bedtime. I will try to get better at blogging as time goes on. But now the NHL playoffs have begun. Maybe I can start in June......

Monday, March 9, 2009


Molson's used a slogan to sell its "Canadian" brand of beer a few years ago. It was called "I AM CANADIAN!".
It was actually a pretty funny bit of advertising. Its about not being a lumberjack, not living in an igloo, not eating blubber, or riding a dog sled. It points out some of the funny misconceptions Americans have about Canadians. Now I must say that I have no desire to live anywhere else in the world. I love Canada! I love the unique things that make Canada special. I love hockey, skiing, boarding, sledding, Tim Horton's (really craving a double, double right now), universal health care, etc. You get the idea I could wax poetically about my love for Canada all day.

However this morning the thermometer was stuck (it may have actually froze) at -44 Celsius (-47.2 Fahrenheit). I really can't describe the cold. It is against the law to leave your pet outside in this weather. People consider this inhumane treatment of an animal. Occupational health and safety draws the line at -45 Celsius. You can't stick fluffy who has a fur coat outside in this weather, but dummies like me will stand outside and work.

I guess my brain shrank too.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

A Starting Point

Where to start?????????


I guess the best place to start is to give a brief description of my life and who I am.

But who am I?????

This blog is a journey, my journey. A journey to where I'm not sure, but feel free to come along.

I am happily married to a fantastic woman (some may know her as Mighty Morphin Mama, I call her my better half). We met when we were quite young, fell in love, and started a family. We now have 5 kids and a baby girl in heaven. We have had our struggles along the way, but with God's grace we are just fine.

My oldest is 14. He is a delight to have as a son. He is responsible, hard working, mature, darn good looking if I might say (a lot of people say he looks like me). The boy is kind, caring, and has a heart of compassion. We call him "The Boy". The name comes from The Simpson's television show. If you don't know who Springfield's most famous family is crawl out from under your rock and turn on your tv.

Next is "Blonde Boy", my 11 year old son. He is a handsome young man (again the similarity to dad), smart, and talented. The child is a natural comic, he and the boy are constantly breaking into monologues from various movies.

We had a little girl that we lost at 20 weeks. We named her Kalila, and she would have been 7 this year. This loss in our family also came at a point where I started to work away from home. I think I did this as away of coping. I ran and didn't deal with it right away. Its funny how you try to run from God, grief, relationship issues, emotional issues. The issues never get dealt with, God never leaves you, the problems don't go. You just hurt and try to mask them with a smile. We will continue this subject at another time.

MMM and I have a 5 year old boy whom we refer to as "Monkey". He truly is all boy. From the time he wakes up its is go, go, go. He never stops until he is a sleep. He is always running, jumping, kicking, climbing, punching. He has the most amazing mind. I love preschooler minds. The questions and thirst for why is amazing.

Our fifth child is our "Girly". She is a girl's girl. She has no problem with being the only gal. She identifies with her mom a lot. She has this amazing ability to give of herself. She is only 3. She will put her hand on your cheek, stare into your eyes and listen when you speak. She then with very carefully tell you what it is that she wants to say. Then she trots off and joins the herd.

Finally we have the baby. Mama refers to him as "Zed". He is 6 months old and changing everyday. I love the giggles and cuddles.

My wife deserves an award. I am a hard hat, work boot, coveralls, lunch pail kinda guy. I work really long hours (at times 80hrs+ a week), I may be on day shifts or nights, in town or on the road. She stays home and watches the herd and is at times the only adult on the preserve. Okay, even when I'm home she's the only grown up. She is a incredible friend, wife, lover, an inspiration when I feel down and the most Godly women I know.

I am an avid hockey fan. Its almost an obsession. My favorite team is the Oilers, however I follow hockey in general. I admit I follow Junior hockey, minor league hockey, and the NHL. Actually if a puck is involved I'll watch, cheer, or play. I have obsessions for the Packers of the NFL, and the Eskimos of the CFL. I also enjoy the UFC, NBA, MLB, really anything. Well not everything, I don't get soccer or NASCAR.

I think the reason that I don't get NASCAR is that I have no attraction to any of my cousins or sisters.